Surviving Thriving During the Holidays
In Early Addiction Recovery:
A Resource for Everyone
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So your family member recently stopped using drugs or drinking alcohol. It’s the holiday season–a time when alcohol sales are reported to soar and, on significant days themselves, use is reported to double compared to surrounding days. Many reasons have been posited as to why–from the emotions that accompany the time of year(i.e. reminiscing, sadness, etc) to attending events (sometimes out of a sense of responsibility), creating feelings of anxiety and a need to ease social interactions.
On the side of the person in recovery who, after a time has made the difficult decision to not use drugs or alcohol, this generally involves changing the “people, places and things” associated with their drinking or using. There may be no escaping those situations during the holidays, though. Expectations for coming “home” (however that may be defined), continuing established or wanting to be able to be in these situations (i.e. where there is a high volume of alcohol or even potentially drugs) to “test” newfound sobriety are all external or internal pressures that a person in early recovery may experience.
If you are recently stober/clean and facing your first holiday season in recovery, here are some ideas for how to make it through what may seem unbearable:
Be aware of how you’re feeling–physically and emotionally. Do things to promote your health, paying particular attention to sleep, diet (super hard this time of year), medication/doctor’s appointments, and of utmost importance…
Don’t isolate yourself. If you live alone make a commitment to text or call at least 3-5 people a day.
Always have a plan if you’re going into what you decide to be a high risk situation–that may mean anything from going to the grocery store to a family gathering to New Year’s Eve party. Have someone you check in with at least before and after and preferably at some point during the event. Remember you are not obligated to stay anywhere. You always have a choice.
If you belong to a 12 step fellowship, make sure you’re making it to regular meetings (live ones preferably). While virtual meetings are useful, seeing and talking to people face to face has a much higher benefit for emotional well-being
Stay honest. If you want to use or drink, talk about it. Not using or drinking is the most unnatural thing for an addict or alcoholic to do.
Be kind to yourself. Make an extra therapy appointment. Go to a movie. Go to some of the many holiday events around the city. Get a mani/pedicure or massage. Spend time outside. Most of all, be aware of the way you’re talking to yourself. Don’t let those old negative messages creep in and replace them with positive ones. You’re turning your whole life around, making really hard choices, and need to remember that. Maybe multiple times a day!
If your family member has recently become sober/clean and they’re coming over to your house for a holiday celebration you may be wondering what the best way is to support them. These situations can leave family members and friends feeling anxious, like they don’t know what to say or do. Some helpful ideas for family/friends are to:
Remember you cannot make them pick up a drink or a drug. If they are around it that is not going to make them relapse. A relapse is a person’s individual choice that happens before the drink or the drug. With that being said, be respectful and don’t offer drugs or alcohol to someone who you know has made a choice not to use
Have alternatives available. The old standbys of soda, water, and sparkling cider are great but NA Beers (non-alcoholic) and “Mock-Tails” have become very popular. Here’s some examples!
Respect the person’s choice if they feel like they need to leave. That isn’t about you; it’s about their own recovery
If you recently lost a family member to the disease of alcoholism or addiction, this can be a particularly emotional time. These can be helpful ideas for easing that pain:
Stay connected- Talk and visit with family and friends. If you’re going to visit the gravesite or other important site related the person you lost, bring someone with you
If you had rituals you did with your loved one (i.e. always went somewhere, watched a certain movie, etc.) consider doing those things in honor of them. Keep in mind the intense emotions that may come up and consider bringing someone with you and/or checking in with someone before or after you do
It may not be the day or date that reminds you of your loved one but something that reminds you of them- an object, a smell, a sound. Have ways of grounding yourself when you get emotionally overwhelmed (i.e. focusing on breathing, mindfulness, etc.). Using the skill below is really helpful for many, describing objects using each of the five senses-in as much detail as possible-to yourself:
Resources for those in Recovery and Active Addiction
12 step groups: One positive outcome from the pandemic is that zoom meetings for every 12 step fellowship have taken off; you can find a peer based self help meeting online any time of day or night in addition to local meetings beginning to resume in person as well. For further information on 12 step groups:
Sober Living: Changing your living environment to being with others who are also trying to adjust to life without drugs or alcohol. You can find a list of Austin-based sober living facilities here.
Day Treatment: Attending a 3 day (Intensive Outpatient or IOP) or 5 day (Partial Hospitalization or PHP) program for increased support with professionals. Many substance abuse treatment centers in the city offer IOP and each psychiatric facility in the city offers a PHP.
Residential or Detox: If you require medical oversight as you are separating from alcohol or a drug, you may go to an inpatient program lasting from 3-90 days. We are very blessed that Austin has a number of treatment centers with their doors open ready to help.
