Why is it a headline when a male celebrity or professional athlete confesses a struggle with mental health issues?
What makes us tune in when fictional male characters, in particular, wrestle with media versions of PTSD, depression, panic disorder, and more on our favorite shows?
The truth? Despite efforts to improve mental health awareness the mental health challenges men face are still steeped in stigma and misunderstanding.
This is particularly true when it comes to men and depression. Unfortunately, many men are socially conditioned to perceive sadness as weakness. Instead of acknowledging and accepting their dark moods and emotions, they are more likely to "suck it up"," get over it", or "push through" them.
In essence, they suffer silently and destructively. All the while deserving a better life and peace of mind.
What about you? Are you hurting emotionally, burying pain, and beating yourself up for not being able to make yourself feel better? Are you going it alone?
You don't have to.
The next step to feeling better and living the life you want is to develop emotional awareness, examine your reactions to depressive thoughts and difficult emotions, and learn to start addressing them. This is difficult if you're pretending you don't need help. It's okay to reach out and accept support.
Why Do Many Men Resist the Help They Long For?
Again this is often a result of cultural norms. Men have long been programmed to assume authority and power positions. You may believe that depression represents a chink in the emotional armor you wear to appear strong and in control. Moreover, you may worry that the supposed weakness linked to a mental health problem will hold you back or make you too vulnerable to be successful or taken seriously.
What Your Resistance Might Look Like
Commonly, men resit help for depression by denying it, masking it, or burying it. This of course just causes the pain to fester or bubble to the surface in unproductive ways. You might be experiencing the toll of unresolved depression at work, in your personal relationships, and more. Any one of the following may result from your anxiety about seeking help.
1. You live in Constant Burnout or Exhaustion
Are you prone to hours on the couch or in bed when you aren't working or meeting basic needs? Perhaps you find you are constantly explaining to loved ones or your boss that you don't feel well or can't participate because you're too tired. Often men find it’s so much easier and socially acceptable to say you're sick or tired than sad and withdrawn. That way you can avoid suggestions that you seek help or those tiring to offer support.
2. You Manage Life with Distractions
Men with depression are often masters of self-distraction. Avoidance and isolation via a myriad of activities that mask their low moods are common. You might work out, play video games, immerse yourself in movies and music to keep emotions and moods at bay. However, you might find that your life feels bleaker as each activity leaves you feeling more empty and disconnected.
3. You Identify as a Loner
You feel depressed but instead of seeking solutions, you claim the dark humor, irritability, and isolation as "who you are". You keep everyone, including loved ones and a therapist at arm's length. You may feel exhausted by the idea of reaching out or fearful of other's judgment. Whatever the case, the path of least resistance keeps you from the support that could help you most.
4. You Become Mission-minded
People rarely question a seemingly busy and productive person. Thus, piling up projects and plans often read as a purpose rather than an attempt to isolate. Friends and family may not recognize that you are hiding from life behind a veil of work commitments. You can likely go on for quite a while, leaving your depression unacknowledged, staving off interaction, and avoiding sessions with a counselor by simply appearing to be a dedicated overachiever.
5. You Numb Your Pain
Self-medication may also be a form of resistance to real depression support. For a time, it may seem a quick and effective way to overcome the low moods, relax, or engage others. However, substance use and abuse can make a dark situation much darker and unpredictable.
Who? You? Depressed? It's Okay to Say, "Yes" & Get Help
Depression thrives on shame and secrets. The most powerful thing you can do now is to tell yourself the truth. Your first step? Secure a safe, professional ally. A therapist will be the compassionate source of strength and solutions you need to start turning your depression around.
Depression is draining, use the energy you have now to reach out. This is not a condition that fades away. It requires a coordinated effort with a knowledgeable support system. Work toward healing rather than suffering. Self-discovery and emotional recovery are possible. From there, the life you really want is yours to achieve. Find out today how depression treatment can help.
Men’s Issues Therapists
