You’ve probably heard of the stages of grief. But, not everyone experiences them the same way. The grieving process is different for everyone. Some might feel overwhelming sadness and hopelessness right away. Others might start to work through the process quickly.
Some people even experience something called delayed grief.
As you might expect from the name, delayed grief occurs some time after the loss. You may not have had a chance to fully process your loss at the time, pushing things down and ignoring your feelings. Or, maybe you’ve spent a long time in denial and buried what’s really going on in your head and heart.
But, emotions will always come forward at some point.
So, what can you do when buried losses start to surface? It may take you by surprise. How can you cope with delayed grief, no matter how long ago you experienced a loss?
Understand What You’re Feeling
If someone you loved passed away or you went through a different type of loss a long time ago, you might not recognize delayed grief right away. So, it’s important to know the signs.
Delayed grief typically occurs so you can keep moving forward. It’s a way to “shut out” the grief process for a while simply so you can handle continuing through life. That’s why symptoms can be a shock when they do occur. The more aware you are, the easier they can be to manage. Some of the most common signs of delayed grief include:
Feeling suddenly numb
Isolating from loved ones
Experiencing changes in your sleeping/eating habits
Having angry outbursts
You might be more at risk of experiencing delayed grief if you were the one in charge of planning everything after a loved one’s death. Or, if you had to be strong for those around you. Paying attention to these signs will let you know sooner that you need to start focusing on your own grief.
Coping in Healthy Ways
The process of going through grief doesn’t really change just because it’s delayed. The only way to get through it is to process your thoughts and feelings. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to do that.
Try writing in a journal about how you feel. It’s a good idea to carry it with you so you can jot things down throughout the day. Not only is it a good way to vent your feelings but it will allow you to look back on your growth.
You can also incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily life. Mindfulness allows you to focus on the present moment, without worrying about the past or future. It only takes a few minutes of your time, and you can use it whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed. Simply close your eyes and focus on your breathing. You might be surprised how much better it makes you feel.
Get the Support You Need
Another helpful coping technique is to talk to someone. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed about experiencing grief now. Explain what you’re going through to family and friends, or anyone you trust. Grief support groups can be a big help, too. You’ll quickly find out that you’re not the only one who might be experiencing grief long after a loss.
Talking to a counselor or therapist can also help, especially if you’re struggling to work through the stages of grief. You don’t have to go through this on your own. In fact, talking things out with someone who can guide you will make the process easier. It won’t feel like there’s so much sudden weight on your shoulders.
Going through grief isn’t easy, no matter how long ago your loss was. But, working through it in healthy ways will allow you to move forward with your life. Let us help you remember and honor what you lost. Read more about trauma therapy and contact us soon for a consultation soon.
Trauma Therapists
